#10 Starting a conversation off well

You know that awkward pause when you open the floor for discussion? Today we're going to talk about how to avoid that moment.

You know that awkward pause when you open the floor for discussion? The one where everyone looks at you blankly, and you’re not sure if you’ve made a horrible error, you’ve totally misunderstood something fundamental, or perhaps you aren’t actually speaking the same language as your collaborators. Today we’re going to talk about how to avoid that moment.

For a long time, I would approach discussions believing that my collaborators were ready to pitch in. We’d done icebreakers; they were experts, so why did no one seem happy to make the first contribution. I’d fire out a question and wait for a response. If none was forthcoming, I’d eventually direct the question at one person, and we’d start a discussion, slowly expanding to involve other people.

That approach never feels natural, and I believe it’s imperfect collaboration; We want to foster dialogue, not discussion, after all.

One way to avoid this awkward pause and lost momentum is to craft starter questions before the session. Walk into a session with a carefully built question for each discussion point. I know, right… me advocating you do even more preparation for a session! Who could imagine that?

A starter question empowers collaborators to respond. It dispels the sense of a wrong answer and gives them a soft “in” to a conversation. It embraces them as individuals and sets the expectation for what’s to happen next.

(I picked up this format from Secrets of Facilitation, an excellent textbook).

A starting question has three key aspects;

1. Image-Building

2. Extending the image to an answer

3. Asking a direct question

The aspects will be interwoven, but you’ll generally end with your direct question.

Let’s dissect an example.

Context; you’re running a session with a group of teachers whilst designing a service that supports lesson planning and delivery. You want to understand a teacher’s considerations when reusing an existing lesson plan for a new class.

Teacher in action – Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Conventionally you might open a discussion by saying,

“What do you need to know before reusing a lesson plan with a new class?”

A good starter question might look like this:

“I want to learn about the things you consider when you’re planning a class. Let’s do a bit of visualisation. I want you to imagine you’re sat wherever you generally do your planning. You’re putting together lesson plans for the next week. You already have a great lesson plan you used last year with a previous class, so you’re going to reuse it. What are the first things you think about when you go back to that lesson plan?

Breaking it down

Image building

For this example, the image building is simple:

“I want you to imagine you’re sat wherever you generally do your planning.”

There is arguably a bit of an assumption (what about people who use standing desks!), but I’m leaving space for people to be using digital tools or paper, to be on a bus or in a classroom. It’s important that I’m inviting people into their own space and giving them the context from which we’ll work.

Extending the image to an answer

I want to know about a specific thing; how they reuse lesson plans, so I’ll give them a little context which is based on some previous research:

You’re putting together lesson plans for the next week. You already have a great lesson plan you used last year with a previous class, so you’re going to reuse it.”

I’ve now taken them from a general (planning a lesson) to a specific (reusing a lesson plan) context and hopefully triggered a visual memory that the collaborators can use to answer me.

Asking a direct question

This is a story of two halves. I don’t want my collaborators to observe my image-building and try to figure out where it’s going rather than be invested in it. So I started the question with a signal of intent:

“I want to learn about things you consider when you’re planning a class…”.

It’s not leading; it’s not a demand; it’s simply a reassuring signpost.

At the end of the question, I give the direct question: **

“What are the first things you think about when you go back to that lesson plan?”

This a clear call for a response in whatever medium you’ve briefed for that response to come back - it could be a silent brainwriting exercise, a small group discussion, a journey map, or any other tool you’ve chosen for this exercise.

The result

By focusing on the format of the question I’m going to ask, I’m ensuring I’m more inclusive. People will feel more comfortable responding to their own experiences and less worried about being wrong. They’ll also have a much better grasp of exactly what I want to know.

A solid conversation underway – Photo by Antenna on Unsplash

This format of the question will have less awkward silence and more valuable responses.

Other things to keep in mind

Avoid leading questions

Leading questions are questions that suggest a particular answer or point of view. They’re problematic 90% of the time because they limit the range of responses and perspectives that participants feel comfortable sharing. Instead, ask open-ended questions that invite participants to share their unique perspectives and experiences.

Be action orientated

Good starting questions should be thought-provoking and encourage participants to think deeply about their own experiences.

Keep it simple

Finally, keeping your starting questions simple and easy to understand is important. Avoid using jargon or technical language that might confuse participants (or might show your own lack of experience). Instead, use language that is accessible and easy to understand.

Before your next workshop, prepare your starting questions.

Starting questions are a straightforward way to elevate your sessions by eliciting the most valuable responses with the least awkwardness.

So give it a go for your next workshop. You don’t have to prepare these on the fly (though you’ll start to get the hang of that as you gain experience), and you don’t need to prepare them for every exercise. But for each workshop, choose one key moment and use this guide to consider exactly how you will ask that all-important question.

That’s all for today! Until next time, Happy Facilitating!